She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
