go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
