he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My breasts were aching with rage.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
