a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he fucked my hip out of place.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
