We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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