also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
