i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
