You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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