I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize