i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
