Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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