they need to just BURY HIM!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
