i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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