Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
