Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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