I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
