Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
