one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
