i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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