So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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