dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize