absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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