I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
