On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
