I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
