Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize