and my herpes radar will keep us safe
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
