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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just had sex bonerless
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
