You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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