She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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