distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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