is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize