All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
