I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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