ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
