Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
