JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
