Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
