M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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