Got a toothbrush?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
