Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
