i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
