do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
