Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
