Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
