im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
