Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
