I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
