I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
