do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
