you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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