Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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