I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
