You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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