Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
