remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize