dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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