Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
