White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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