whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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