This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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