Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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