i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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