all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
