Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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