It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
