it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
