nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
