So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
