I need help removing her.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
