I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
