I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize