He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
