You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
