similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
