sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
