I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
