I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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