Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
